Nathan and I have the most fun of anyone.
I thought I won with a line, but Shirley Temple Bar corrected me. I was missing one number. Damn.
But she said she wanted to steal my dress. When a drag queen admires your style, you've done something right.
The drag queen from Rome sang "Mambo Italiano" (Hey mambo! Mambo Italiano! Nathan inexblicably knows all the words. Sinatra fan?) and Shirley did "Lord of the Dance" in full Irish dance regalia. Only in Dublin could you see that.
Then Nathan and I danced for HOURS. That is way better than Bikram Yoga.
"T'be sure, if oy had legs like dat, oy'd walk on me hands!"
Fab...just fab.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Here's how the E.U. profits from my failure:
Working 50+ hours a week at various jobs = fail a paper at school because you have no time.
Work various jobs because you live in one of the most expensve cities in Europe.
Automatically lose 50% of income from paper-failing jobs because of immigrant tax system.
Therefore,
Everyone who is an E.U. national gets loads of benefits from my euro & I get exhaustion and failure.
Yay!
Oh, also my phone & camera got stolen got stolen this week. And my house got broken into last week. So I'm pretty much loving Dublin right now.
Can I come home yet?
Work various jobs because you live in one of the most expensve cities in Europe.
Automatically lose 50% of income from paper-failing jobs because of immigrant tax system.
Therefore,
Everyone who is an E.U. national gets loads of benefits from my euro & I get exhaustion and failure.
Yay!
Oh, also my phone & camera got stolen got stolen this week. And my house got broken into last week. So I'm pretty much loving Dublin right now.
Can I come home yet?
Sunday, February 18, 2007
You can freeze, like a...
Yoga kicked my ass today. I had to have "a little sit" as Nathan would say. Listen, I have tight hamstrings, so just Namaste this, bi-itch.
Anyway.
So the Jameson Dublin International Film Festival is in town from the 16 to the 25 Dave and I scored festival passes from Totally Dublin! and went and saw two films over the weekend.
La Science de reves (The Science of Sleep): Excuse me, Michel Gondry and Gael Garcia Bernal? Wild horses could not keep me away from that film. Also, Serge Gainsbourg's daughter is the female lead. Gondry is such a genius. He's not Dogme 95 filmmaker but any who can do those visual effects during filming and not in post-production deserves the Nobel Prize for Awesome (past recipients have been the inventor of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and pre-80's David Bowie). Bernal is so effing talented. He is also free to marry me. It's not a film everyone would like though, cause it's kinda...weird. I had to see it by myself though, because apparently none of my friends are interested in tri-lingual French films.
Scott Walker: 30 Century Man: Now I had heard there was going to be a Scott Walker biopic and Gale Harold (Brian from the American Queer as Folk) was going to play him. But this was a documentary about Walker from his Walker Brother days up to the album he put out in '06 The Drift. It had interviews with everyone: David Bowie (who amusingly sees an ad for himself in a mime show in a newspaper featuring Walker), Radiohead, Johnny Marr(!), Jarvis Cocker, etc. Bowie produced the film too.
Now whenever I think of Scott Walker I imagine someone who sees certain scenes from 2001 when he closes his eyes; or someone who knows who built Stonehenge but has never revealed it, simply because no one asked; or someone who can turn himself inside out at will, but he seems like a really nice old guy who has a nice thing to say about everyone. But sometimes it seems forced, which is probably why he doesn't do interviews and basically disappeared for like, 20 years. In any case, I love Scott Walker and I love documentaries, so this was right up my alley.
In other DIFF news, I met Gabriel Bryne on the street when I was on lunch at work. Again really nice guy and I just acted like an idiot of course, "AAHHHH! USUAL SUSPECTS!!!" and Nathan and I met Joseph Fiennes on Grafton Street at Nathan's bookstore.
Also at the DIFF launch party on Friday, my friends from New Zealand (Shanti and Janus) were comparing our celebrity birthday matches:
Janus: Lou Reed (March 2)
Shanti: Bob Dylan (May 24)
Me: Adam Ant (November 3)
So unfair. They get the two greatest songwriters of the 1960's (maybe ever) and I get the guy who's claim to fame were the words "You spin me right round, baby/ Right round, like a record baby/ Right round, round round."
There is no justice.
Note to the Cline House: I have contracted Matty's elbow cancer, that he cured by hitting it with a large book. Please note that it is viral. I may have to get my elbow aputated. I have left my last will and testament in the cushions of your couch.
Anyway.
So the Jameson Dublin International Film Festival is in town from the 16 to the 25 Dave and I scored festival passes from Totally Dublin! and went and saw two films over the weekend.
La Science de reves (The Science of Sleep): Excuse me, Michel Gondry and Gael Garcia Bernal? Wild horses could not keep me away from that film. Also, Serge Gainsbourg's daughter is the female lead. Gondry is such a genius. He's not Dogme 95 filmmaker but any who can do those visual effects during filming and not in post-production deserves the Nobel Prize for Awesome (past recipients have been the inventor of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and pre-80's David Bowie). Bernal is so effing talented. He is also free to marry me. It's not a film everyone would like though, cause it's kinda...weird. I had to see it by myself though, because apparently none of my friends are interested in tri-lingual French films.
Scott Walker: 30 Century Man: Now I had heard there was going to be a Scott Walker biopic and Gale Harold (Brian from the American Queer as Folk) was going to play him. But this was a documentary about Walker from his Walker Brother days up to the album he put out in '06 The Drift. It had interviews with everyone: David Bowie (who amusingly sees an ad for himself in a mime show in a newspaper featuring Walker), Radiohead, Johnny Marr(!), Jarvis Cocker, etc. Bowie produced the film too.
Now whenever I think of Scott Walker I imagine someone who sees certain scenes from 2001 when he closes his eyes; or someone who knows who built Stonehenge but has never revealed it, simply because no one asked; or someone who can turn himself inside out at will, but he seems like a really nice old guy who has a nice thing to say about everyone. But sometimes it seems forced, which is probably why he doesn't do interviews and basically disappeared for like, 20 years. In any case, I love Scott Walker and I love documentaries, so this was right up my alley.
In other DIFF news, I met Gabriel Bryne on the street when I was on lunch at work. Again really nice guy and I just acted like an idiot of course, "AAHHHH! USUAL SUSPECTS!!!" and Nathan and I met Joseph Fiennes on Grafton Street at Nathan's bookstore.
Also at the DIFF launch party on Friday, my friends from New Zealand (Shanti and Janus) were comparing our celebrity birthday matches:
Janus: Lou Reed (March 2)
Shanti: Bob Dylan (May 24)
Me: Adam Ant (November 3)
So unfair. They get the two greatest songwriters of the 1960's (maybe ever) and I get the guy who's claim to fame were the words "You spin me right round, baby/ Right round, like a record baby/ Right round, round round."
There is no justice.
Note to the Cline House: I have contracted Matty's elbow cancer, that he cured by hitting it with a large book. Please note that it is viral. I may have to get my elbow aputated. I have left my last will and testament in the cushions of your couch.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
The Vagina Workshop
Vagina Monologues: Amazing. Again. Also, we sold on on a matinee when the first ever rugby match was being played in Croke Park stadium (sounds like it wouldn't be a big deal but it was).
Sorry, totally spaced...no pictures...
Drag Queen Bingo: Yeah, It doesn't get much better than that.
Summary: Sunday Feb, 11 2007: A day of great perfromances.
Sorry, totally spaced...no pictures...
Drag Queen Bingo: Yeah, It doesn't get much better than that.
Summary: Sunday Feb, 11 2007: A day of great perfromances.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
The Blasphemy Challenge
Most Christians, good Christians will often try to spread the word of God to others, the comfort of faith, Jesus' love and all of that fine prose in the Bible.
However, there are a small minority of CFX's (Cheerleaders for Christ) to which I belong, who will start throwin' bows and pushing others out of the way in the queue to get into Heaven (you know how I hate queues) in order to get first callsies on that prime Afterlife real estate.
So I present to you: The Blasphemy Challenge
Basically, it's a response to the YouTube phenomenon of "Rational Responders" who are people who webcam themselves "witnessing" or whatever it's called. It's just the opposite!
Give it a try, friends. Have fun in Hell.
N.B. Saying you don't belive in God isn't actually blasphemy. Saying it and acting like it is actually what Jesus meant. Don't worry, it works the other way too; saying you do believe in God is only worth any salt if you act like you do, savvy? You can read about that here.
However, there are a small minority of CFX's (Cheerleaders for Christ) to which I belong, who will start throwin' bows and pushing others out of the way in the queue to get into Heaven (you know how I hate queues) in order to get first callsies on that prime Afterlife real estate.
So I present to you: The Blasphemy Challenge
Basically, it's a response to the YouTube phenomenon of "Rational Responders" who are people who webcam themselves "witnessing" or whatever it's called. It's just the opposite!
Give it a try, friends. Have fun in Hell.
N.B. Saying you don't belive in God isn't actually blasphemy. Saying it and acting like it is actually what Jesus meant. Don't worry, it works the other way too; saying you do believe in God is only worth any salt if you act like you do, savvy? You can read about that here.
Monday, February 05, 2007
"The 90's are honest..."
You know what The Powers That Be need to do?
Make a movie of Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis
See also: stop world hunger
See also: cure AIDS
See also: make a movie of Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis.
That is all.
[edit] My father informs me that Less Than Zero was made into a movie in 1987 with Robert Downey Jr. PURCHASE!
Make a movie of Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis
See also: stop world hunger
See also: cure AIDS
See also: make a movie of Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis.
That is all.
[edit] My father informs me that Less Than Zero was made into a movie in 1987 with Robert Downey Jr. PURCHASE!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Levity Among Compatriots
So after the La Boheme debacle, I swore I'd never be seen in public with Cillian again (jeans to the opera? My days) but last night I took him to the Decemberists show at Vicar Street. They kinda sucked.
Oh wait, I misspelled "WERE FECKIN' AWESOME!"
It's a common mistake.
We missed the first band because we are...um...slow to go anywhere. But when we got there, a big announcer voice with some ridiculous name like, "Christian von Hoomply" or something instructed us to befriend the person next to us before the show could start.
When the band came on, Colin stated, "The brand of this bouzouki is 'Trinity College'" which was met with a few cheers but mostly boos, two of which were coming from Cillian and I. Colin said, "I started that too soon didn't I?"
Some other points of enjoyment were when some of my potential countrymen (Is Meiricanach me, right?) shouted out, "STEPHEN COLBERT!" A reference to Rock n' Awe: Countdown to Guitarmageddon. Colin said, "As if he would show his face. We were robbed."
At one point Colin gestured to Lisa and said, "She's our newest member, but wait, we're new to you anyway. We could have all joined the band yesterday...and you would have no idea. Except for the Internet. And telephones. And television."
Obviously, I don't know what happened at the Toronto show, but dear God, I hope you guys also broke for "Mid-show Calisthenics" led by the band. Everybody 'pogo'? Awesome.
The set list was:
The Crane Wife Pt. 3
The Island: Come and See/The Landlords Daughter/You'll Not Feel the Drowning
Billy Liar ('The song about knickers' as my mother would say)
We Both Go Down Together
Summersong (which, according to Colin was written 2 years ago, somewhere on the west coast of Eire)
Yankee Bayonet (I Will Be Home Then)
Shankhill Butchers
Odalisque ("Here's a song to cheer you up...about dead babies...and a Turkish prostitute")
O Valencia!
16 Military Wives (Okay, it should be stated that at this point in the show, Colin divided up the audience into two sections during the 'la di da, di da, di diddy diddy da' part. He said that between us there were poisonous snakes, in lava, which reminded me of that Daniel Tosh bit where his mom says, "The floor's lava!" "What the hell is wrong with our house? We can't even afford carpet?"He had us sneer and shake our fists at each other while singing and we never found out who won, but it was pretty damn cool.)
The Crane Wife Prts. 1 & 2
Sons & Daughters (which is my favourite song of the moment)
Encore:
Eli, the Barrow Boy (a shoutout to Molly Malone, perhaps?)
The Chimbley Sweep (which is about Colin's childhood apparently. During the song he and Chris had a mini-guitarmageddon between themselves which finished when Colin pured his Guinness on his guitar, stating "It sounds so much better now!" He also "shot" all of the other members of the band and then told the audience "Shhh! They're sleeping. Be quiet. Get down" And everyone got down on the floor and was quiet.)
Pretty amazing.
Finally, when I was outside with Cillian some guy turned to me an said, "Your earrings are perfect. Perfect for the sea shanties." So I took a selfie to capture their perfection.
Probably the best show I've ever been to. Sorry Sigur Ros. Maybe you should learn to speak English and be hilarious next time.
In summation: yes Decemberists.
Oh wait, I misspelled "WERE FECKIN' AWESOME!"
It's a common mistake.
We missed the first band because we are...um...slow to go anywhere. But when we got there, a big announcer voice with some ridiculous name like, "Christian von Hoomply" or something instructed us to befriend the person next to us before the show could start.
When the band came on, Colin stated, "The brand of this bouzouki is 'Trinity College'" which was met with a few cheers but mostly boos, two of which were coming from Cillian and I. Colin said, "I started that too soon didn't I?"
Some other points of enjoyment were when some of my potential countrymen (Is Meiricanach me, right?) shouted out, "STEPHEN COLBERT!" A reference to Rock n' Awe: Countdown to Guitarmageddon. Colin said, "As if he would show his face. We were robbed."
At one point Colin gestured to Lisa and said, "She's our newest member, but wait, we're new to you anyway. We could have all joined the band yesterday...and you would have no idea. Except for the Internet. And telephones. And television."
Obviously, I don't know what happened at the Toronto show, but dear God, I hope you guys also broke for "Mid-show Calisthenics" led by the band. Everybody 'pogo'? Awesome.
The set list was:
The Crane Wife Pt. 3
The Island: Come and See/The Landlords Daughter/You'll Not Feel the Drowning
Billy Liar ('The song about knickers' as my mother would say)
We Both Go Down Together
Summersong (which, according to Colin was written 2 years ago, somewhere on the west coast of Eire)
Yankee Bayonet (I Will Be Home Then)
Shankhill Butchers
Odalisque ("Here's a song to cheer you up...about dead babies...and a Turkish prostitute")
O Valencia!
16 Military Wives (Okay, it should be stated that at this point in the show, Colin divided up the audience into two sections during the 'la di da, di da, di diddy diddy da' part. He said that between us there were poisonous snakes, in lava, which reminded me of that Daniel Tosh bit where his mom says, "The floor's lava!" "What the hell is wrong with our house? We can't even afford carpet?"He had us sneer and shake our fists at each other while singing and we never found out who won, but it was pretty damn cool.)
The Crane Wife Prts. 1 & 2
Sons & Daughters (which is my favourite song of the moment)
Encore:
Eli, the Barrow Boy (a shoutout to Molly Malone, perhaps?)
The Chimbley Sweep (which is about Colin's childhood apparently. During the song he and Chris had a mini-guitarmageddon between themselves which finished when Colin pured his Guinness on his guitar, stating "It sounds so much better now!" He also "shot" all of the other members of the band and then told the audience "Shhh! They're sleeping. Be quiet. Get down" And everyone got down on the floor and was quiet.)
Pretty amazing.
Finally, when I was outside with Cillian some guy turned to me an said, "Your earrings are perfect. Perfect for the sea shanties." So I took a selfie to capture their perfection.
Probably the best show I've ever been to. Sorry Sigur Ros. Maybe you should learn to speak English and be hilarious next time.
In summation: yes Decemberists.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
One day in Dublin
So I had to post some things to Canada, England, what have you, yesterday and wandered down to the post office near Grafton street. Filling out my forms and paying for the post, some lady next to me asks for the Irish yellow pages. The girl helping me gives it to her and the lady goes further down the counter to look up the number One of the other postal workers walks by and she stops him. The exchange went something like this:
Weird Lady: Excuse me, are we in Australia right now?
Postal Worker: Excuse me?
Weird Lady: Is Ireland part of Australia? Didn't Australia buy Ireland over 100 years ago?
Postal Worker: What?
Weird Lady: Yes, Australia purchased Ireland to repatriate the Irish citizens displaced over the past couple of centuries.
Postal Workers: How would Australia buy Ireland?
Weird Lady: Yes, Ireland is a province of Australia, isn't it?
Kait: Um...excuse me...Ireland is part of the E.U.
Weird Lady (indignant look) I'm sorry...I don't speak SOVIET.
Kait: that was...English...
Weird Lady: The E.U. is a Soviet organizationand niether Australia nor Ireland is part of it.
Postal Worker: Are you happy with that phonebook? I'm going to help this young lady now.
Kait: (to postal worker now helping me) G'day mate!
City Centre Dublin: CHOKED WITH FREAKS.
Later in Irish class that same day.
Irish Teacher (named Aifric): Dias duit. (Hello)
Kait: Dias i Maire duit. (Hello)
Aifric: Cad as ainm duit? (What's your name?)
Kait: Kaitlyn is ainm dom.
Aifric: Kaitlyn, cad as focal o "girl" sa Ghaelige? (What is the word for "girl" in Irish?)
Kait: Um...nil tuigim (I don't know)
Aifric: C'mon it's easy! It's what all you Americans call Irish girls!
Kait: ...Is as Ceanada me... (I'm from Canada)
Aifric: You're American! You should get this!
Kait: Is Ceanadach me! I'm not from America!
Aifric: Oh...um...the word is "calin."
Kait: Calin.
Aifric: Sorry...
Kait: I get that a lot.
Is Ceanadach me...Is Meiracanach me...all the same right?
Also, my Iraq war poetry paper is now called, "Mission: Articulated."
Weird Lady: Excuse me, are we in Australia right now?
Postal Worker: Excuse me?
Weird Lady: Is Ireland part of Australia? Didn't Australia buy Ireland over 100 years ago?
Postal Worker: What?
Weird Lady: Yes, Australia purchased Ireland to repatriate the Irish citizens displaced over the past couple of centuries.
Postal Workers: How would Australia buy Ireland?
Weird Lady: Yes, Ireland is a province of Australia, isn't it?
Kait: Um...excuse me...Ireland is part of the E.U.
Weird Lady (indignant look) I'm sorry...I don't speak SOVIET.
Kait: that was...English...
Weird Lady: The E.U. is a Soviet organizationand niether Australia nor Ireland is part of it.
Postal Worker: Are you happy with that phonebook? I'm going to help this young lady now.
Kait: (to postal worker now helping me) G'day mate!
City Centre Dublin: CHOKED WITH FREAKS.
Later in Irish class that same day.
Irish Teacher (named Aifric): Dias duit. (Hello)
Kait: Dias i Maire duit. (Hello)
Aifric: Cad as ainm duit? (What's your name?)
Kait: Kaitlyn is ainm dom.
Aifric: Kaitlyn, cad as focal o "girl" sa Ghaelige? (What is the word for "girl" in Irish?)
Kait: Um...nil tuigim (I don't know)
Aifric: C'mon it's easy! It's what all you Americans call Irish girls!
Kait: ...Is as Ceanada me... (I'm from Canada)
Aifric: You're American! You should get this!
Kait: Is Ceanadach me! I'm not from America!
Aifric: Oh...um...the word is "calin."
Kait: Calin.
Aifric: Sorry...
Kait: I get that a lot.
Is Ceanadach me...Is Meiracanach me...all the same right?
Also, my Iraq war poetry paper is now called, "Mission: Articulated."
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