GI: NO!

Y'know those urban legends (and bad Nip/Tuck) episodes that go on about organ theives that take your kidney while you're sleeping? Well apparently someone did that to me in the form of a gastric bypass surgery.

I Can Never Eat the Following Things

• Any meat
• Any dairy product
  
• Salsa (oh my days....the pain)
• anything spicy, really
• Good heavens, certainly not anything carbonated.
  
• Nicorette
• those really tempting looking paninis that they sell in Starbucks, but even the grilled veg ones just burn your tongue and scratch the roof of your mouth to shit; just get a muffin. You don't need a sandwich for breakfast
  
• Lucozade (not that anyone should really ever drink Lucozade)
• Anything fried. It dehydrates my lips and I get very cranky when my lips are dry.
  
• Anything outside the temperature range of 10 - 20 degres Celcius (actually even 20 degrees is pushing it)
• Baked goods with lots of oats, like Hobnobs. Even when tempered by tea, they reveal a panini-esque slice-the-roof-of-your-mouth-to-shit factor that is unbearable.
• Anymore, tequila
• Anything over 100 grams in mass at one time, apparently. No pasta, no couscous, no rice, nothing heavy.
  

This is my exciting life of smoothies, fruti and salad.

Even those give me a tummy ache sometimes.